be at rest

I went on a retreat about a week ago. There were two questions that we were asked to ponder that have stayed with me, "what are your top five priorities?" and "do your thoughts and the way you spend your time and money reflect those priorities?" It was difficult to write these down for a few reasons: I was embarrassed, what I think about and how I spend my time and money don't reflect what I desire my priorities to be and I should have different priorities because of the faith I claim.

I believe when you claim to follow Christ your priorities should transform to reflect His priorities. While I know this in theory it's hard think this is where my commitment to Christ is truly tested. I like to plan, I desire financial security, I adore overpriced stores such as Anthropologie and I want my kids someday to feel balance and security. I worry that those things will be tossed out the window and my life will be chaotic and boring.

I don't feel I can keep priorities that reflect more of American culture's rather than of Christ's. It's hard, and feels like a sacrifice, but I think that's how it should be. I'm reminded of Romans 12:1 "And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him."

So I'm working on adapting things, not just rearranging lists on papers and hoping for magical adjustments on how I suddenly start spending my time, money and where my thoughts reside. It's been simple...I've been praying more and more that the Lord would shift the desires of my heart. I've been consuming my mind with scriptures that speak truths about not worrying about tomorrow, and not storing up earthly treasures.

Honestly, I don't know how I will even begin to change this worrying person I sometimes am, but I must be confident that the Lord can transform me into a new creature. A person that may in tiny ways reflect a aglimpse of Himself to others.